As we all know, we dogs are much wiser than humans. We told Deborah and Bill that we needed our own part of the website so that we could set forth just a few of our gems that represent the dog philosophy of life.
Please feel free to send us
your own sage perspectives and we will add them to the collection.
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I'm chewing something, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks just like mine, it is mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
11/27/98 - Contributed by Cynthia
11. If it is on the floor, it is mine !
12. If it is in any of my friend's houses, it is mine !
13. If it makes any noise; squeeks, beeps, sqawks, sings, or dances, it is mine !
14. If it is really yucky and muddy and disgusting, it is mine !
To which, Carina adds,
15 If it runs away from me, it is mine.
Special RULES for CHRISTMAS
(Contributed by the Hounds of Chris Drew)
HOLIDAY ETIQUETTE FOR DOGS
1. Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may
appear to be more stressed-out than usual and they will appreciate
long comforting dog leans.
2. They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not
assume that all the gifts are yours.
3. Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem to get
some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look with fake
4. They may bring a large tree into the house and set it up in a
prominent place and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre as
this may seem to you, it is an important ritual for your humans, so
there are some things you need to know:
-don't pee on the tree -
-don't drink water in the container that holds the tree -
-mind your tail when you are near the tree -
-if there are packages under the tree, even ones that smell
interesting or that have your name on them, don't rip them open
-don't chew on the cord that runs from the funny-looking hole in the
wall to the tree
5. Your humans may occasionally invite lots of strangers to come
visit during this season. These parties can be lots of fun, but they
also call for some discretion on your part:
- -not all strangers appreciate kisses and leans
- -don't eat off the buffet table
- -beg for goodies subtly
- -be pleasant, even if unknowing strangers sit on your sofa
- -don't drink out of glasses that are left within your reach.
6. Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your manners
will also be important:
- -observe all the rules in #4 for trees that may be in other
people's houses. (4a is particularly important)
- -respect the territory of other animals that may live in the house
- -LOVE the children
- -turn on your charm big time
7. A big man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may emerge
from your fireplace in the middle of the night. DON'T BITE HIM!!
And, as an addition for the IW's who apparently don't understand
the meaning of the word greet -
- - don't greet all the elderly visitors with a good time goose to
the private parts.
If there is more than one IW in the family don't team up for
simultaneous gooses on visitors no matter how tempting and
friendly it seems. Humans do NOT greet each other this way and
do not understand that a good sniff in the private parts is not
a friendly way of saying "howdy, who are you?"
And finally, if you have succumbed to a good time goose, do not make
faces, sneeze or paw at your nose afterwards. Humans have a
custom of anointing themselves with perfumes and talcum powders,
etc. Humans do not appreciate your candor in expressing
your reaction to a good whiff. No one told you to go there to sniff.